New Year's resolutions

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I never did understand why people celebrated the incrementing of the year. It really isn't any different than any other midnight, where one day passes to the next. It also made no sense to me that people would make resolutions every year, even though they would almost certainly fail at keeping them. Why would people set themselves up for such failure?

I never used to make New Year's resolutions, using the logic that if I was really determined to make a change in my life, I was just as likely to do it on any other day, as I was on January 1. As a gym rat, I would see lots of people come in and become addicted to their workouts throughout the year, but I never once met anyone who started due to a New Year's resolution that kept with it beyond a couple of months.

While I still maintain the same attitude towards NY resolutions for serious topics, I now try and have some fun coming up with resolutions that I will enjoy keeping. Here are mine for 2013:

1. I resolve to regularly offend people at school by saying something politically incorrect during seminar, often without realizing that it is politically incorrect, but sometimes because people need to get poked with a sharp stick.

2. Several years ago, The Weekly World News had an article about how staring at women's breasts is good for lowering men's blood pressure. I resolve to work on lowering my blood pressure this year.

3. I resolve to try out a new variety of pasture raised and properly cured bacon at least once a month this year.

4. Talking about The Weekly World News, I resolve to try and find a way to cite WWN in my thesis, though I don't resolve to actually succeed.

5. I resolve to try new cheeses, hot sauces and ethnic foods at every opportunity.

6. I resolve to say stupid things around pretty girls.

7. I resolve to stay up later than what most people my age think is sensible to watch bad movies.

8. I resolve to eat more garlic before class.